I\u2019m bummed out because I wasn\u2019t able to finish that poem thingy that I started the other day. I have no idea why but I just wasn\u2019t able to get into it. No matter what state of mind I was able to shoot into my vein.\u00a0 So instead of lingering on it I scrapped the whole damn thing, I started another one and got a lot further with it, if I could find it that is.<\/p>\n
That poem was supposed to be about two objects of my desire, love for a girl and the love for my drug, and the struggle to choose between the two. I haven\u2019t felt that way and while and I found it difficult to get into that frame of mind. The next time my brain starts functioning that way again maybe I will finish it off.<\/p>\n
I don\u2019t like the fact that all\u00a0 this poetry that I write (or at least attempt to write) these days is always concerning a will topics like love, or love\u00a0 related subjects, it\u2019s really quite God damn annoying. I guess it\u2019s understandable because only thing that\u2019s been on my mind for the last couple of years is Janice and how strongly I love(d?) her and how she could not reciprocate that love.\u00a0\u00a0 It has had a substantial impact on me and my thinking. I guess I have made that pretty apparent by now, huh?<\/p>\n
Anyway, this whole situation is still getting to me, I mean I still think about it every day, I know I should be over her by now but I just can\u2019t. No matter how\u00a0 I try, or how many times I tell myself \u201cjust forget about it, forget about her\u201d and I still love her, I do. I am however glad to admit that I am not still bitter about her not wanting to be with me. I have come to accept the fact that I love her and I probably always will love her. But she is something that I can never have. She doesn\u2019t want me or anything like me. If anything ever does happen between us, I will go with it and having the happiest, most filled man alive, but I\u2019m not to spend time wishing, hoping and praying.<\/p>\n
So it is settled then\u2026 I love her.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019m bummed out because I wasn\u2019t able to finish that poem thingy that I started the other day. I have no idea why but I just wasn\u2019t able to get into it. No matter what state of mind I was able to shoot into my vein.\u00a0 So instead of lingering on it I scrapped the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[2,14,22,28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-39","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-acceptance","category-love","category-poem","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=39"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/39\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=39"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=39"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=39"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}