{"id":37,"date":"2005-11-18T04:22:21","date_gmt":"2005-11-17T20:22:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/?p=37"},"modified":"2005-11-18T04:22:21","modified_gmt":"2005-11-17T20:22:21","slug":"april-23rd-1998-absolute-failure","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/2005\/11\/18\/april-23rd-1998-absolute-failure\/","title":{"rendered":"April 23rd 1998: Absolute Failure"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<p>The initial results from my attempt to get clean are not good, no, not good at all. Well, all right, it actually isn\u2019t going that bad, but it\u2019s not as successful as I had initially predicted. I\u2019m only supposed to be having one hit today, instead in decreasing the number of hits I have each day each day by one. This method will work, but it will just take a bit longer than I had anticipated. I don\u2019t mind though, as long as I can eventually come clean\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Over there on the other page is the start of something,\u00a0 a poem?\u00a0 some sort of incessant rambling\u00a0 of a fool? I don\u2019t know,\u00a0 I want to finish it but I can\u2019t now, my head is way too clear. Yesterday my brain was a total blur; I could feel it, the fuzzy edges around my brain when I wrote that thing at the height of my hit.\u00a0 When I get back to that mind numbing state, maybe then\u00a0 I will continue to write.<\/p>\n<div>\n<p>Having only allowed myself\u00a0 to fix twice today, they had to be timed out in Swiss precision as to get the maximum high gravity each. It\u2019s 1045 now, I have 30 min. till I can have my first hit.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>I\u2019m writing this on the train from Yau Ma Tei\u00a0 station, I had just been to\u00a0 score.\u00a0\u00a0 My hit of the day was unsuccessful to say the least. I ended up finishing off all of the dope \u00a0just to catch a buzz.<\/p>\n<p>I don\u2019t really care for talking about this right now, in fact, I\u2019m going to stop discussing this whole situation with smack.\u00a0 From here on out\u00a0 there will be no more talk of scoring, fixing or anything else remotely associated with heroin. I reckon it just makes me sound pretentious. Mark my words,\u00a0 \u201cno more talk of smack!\u201d\u00a0 At least not for a few days.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The initial results from my attempt to get clean are not good, no, not good at all. Well, all right, it actually isn\u2019t going that bad, but it\u2019s not as successful as I had initially predicted. I\u2019m only supposed to be having one hit today, instead in decreasing the number of hits I have each [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,26,28],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-37","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-clean","category-smack","category-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=37"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/37\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=37"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=37"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=37"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}