I\u2019ve spent the entire day with this guy Niles; well to tell you the truth I\u2019m not exactly sure if that was actually his name. I know that I spent the majority of the day with him but I just never got around to the physical act of asking him his name, but its pretty close to that and I really like the way that \u2018Niles\u2019 sounds, so from here on in he\u2019ll be referred to as such, okay?
\nI was killing time at Pacific Place with James; he was eating a hamburger or some odd thing as I watched on inquisitively. I don\u2019t remember the last time I\u2019ve actually had something that resembled an appetite but there really was something about this burger that really appealed to me. I thought about it for a few minutes and after much debate I finally decided to get myself one, I had to, I\u2019d been staring at the damn thing for well over ten minutes for crying out loud. I took one bite of the thing and suddenly remembered why it was again that I had forsaken food for heroin, I put down the damned thing in disgust and it was then that I bumped into Niles.
\nI was greeted with a \u201cAre you going to finish that?\u201d I turned around to see this tiny disheveled man-child in a blood soaked t-shirt, a sort of strung-out Oliver Twist. I told him to take it and he sat down and started munching away. Now, I knew this guy from the methadone clinic, as I know most of my acquaintances, and we\u2019d split some dope a couple of times and said our farewells but beyond that there really wasn\u2019t much else.
\nWe sat and chatted for a while, supposedly Niles had spent the last two nights sleeping on the roof of Pacific Place. See he had just run away from the hospital after he had gouged out a Naltrexone implant from his stomach with a penknife, hence the blood. I\u2019ve actually been talking to this doctor about one of those implants, chock full of the world\u2019s premier opiate blocker for up to six weeks. There\u2019s no way in hell though that I could actually afford the procedure. But it does sound enticing, detox in less than 12 hours without feeling a thing, guaranteed month and a half clean, how could anyone not want one?
\nBy the time the conversation turned to smack, we were already on the train and I had abandoned James, hitting him up for twenty bucks along the way. Niles had the word on this dope that was half the price as usual. It was further away and quality was sometimes shaky but at such low-low prices, I just had to have some.
\nDuring the long train ride out, conversation was thin other than who we ran into while scoring lately, who\u2019s a scumbag, who\u2019s not, who\u2019s been busted and who\u2019s dead. Not your typical early Friday afternoon dialogue but you have to look at it this way. We are exactly the same as two housewives gossiping back and forth to each other over a clothesline. Sure, the subject matter may be the polar opposite of \u201cwhat color did Brenda dye her hair?\u201d but you have to see that the essence is exactly the same, no matter how lurid the topic. And regardless of how hip or hardcore we sometimes believe we might be, there\u2019s no escaping that we really weren\u2019t, and we knew it.
\nNiles procured the outfits, scored; well actually he took care of just about everything right down to prepping my shot for me. As much as I enjoy the ritualistic properties of scoring and fixing it was really quite a nice change of pace to have someone do all my work for me.
\nAfter scoring, we ducked into what was possibly one of the filthiest public bathrooms I had seen in a quite some time. Believe you me, I\u2019ve been to some soiled bathrooms in my life, its part of the job, but this one just struck me. There was blood on the walls, there was no toilet paper, nothing that was classically associated with a \u2018bathroom,\u2019 and I loved every inch of it. Don\u2019t ask me why but there\u2019s just something about a scummy bathroom that gets me off, maybe its doing drugs in them, maybe it\u2019s the dirt and grime, I don\u2019t know but that\u2019s just the way it is and I was simultaneously disgusted and thrilled with that thought.
\nLike I said before Niles prepped my shot for me, so as he handed me the rig, I was tying off with my belt. It took me a moment but I found a suitable route, got a register and hit home, I heard this loud cry coming from Niles. I turned, needle still in my arm to see blood jetting from Niles\u2019 wrist.
\nYou see, Niles had a quite a habit but he lacked the veins to keep up with himself. Working his way down from the crook of the arm\/elbow area, he landed at his wrists. And as most people know there\u2019s an artery down there, the veritable blood highway, so when a needle hits that, the blood is traveling at such an incredible speed that it has no option but to shoot right through that thing. The blood rose up through the needle, filled the chamber and ejaculated the plunger all within a matter of milliseconds and now blood was painting the walls.
\nI was frozen, I didn\u2019t know what to do, and sure I\u2019d heard of this sort of thing happening but to actually see it just held me in check. I would have almost been amused if it wasn\u2019t such a repulsive sight, and with the dope kicking in, I just stood there gazing at this scene. All the while, Niles is cursing, \u201cFuck, my shot! Fuck, my shot!\u201d as blood spewed forth in a revolting yet almost beautiful pattern. He got a hold of himself and plucked the rig from his wrist and quickly applied pressure with his free hand.
\nHe scuttled to the floor, picked up the plunger and fixed himself a new shot, this time, steering clear of the wrist. Loaded, he slunk to the floor next to where I still stood stunned, he looked up to me and said what I\u2019d been thinking but could not bring myself to say, \u201cwhoa!\u201d
\nBefore I knew it, it was already three o\u2019 clock, school was just about ending and I\u2019d already been gone for hours. I\u2019d been all across Hong Kong and was nodding at the Holiday Inn for at least an hour. And all that was really required of me was to follow this guy along, hand over my money and stick a needle in my vein and boot a shot home. I really couldn\u2019t ask for anything more, I mean here was everything that was required in my day wrapped up in convenience, dope, kinship and even the extravagance of someone to organize my using with. I should be set right? I mean, this is what I\u2019m thinking, I could ask for nothing more. But in the midst of all this convenience and affinity I feel\u2026 tainted, dirty, I don\u2019t know what.
\nEarlier this afternoon, lying there in that filth ridden public toilet, in between nodding and blood-painting escapades, it occurred to me, in stunning, true to life, 3D, high definition, surround sound. This is where I have taken my life. This is where I choose to be. Now don\u2019t get me wrong, I\u2019m pretty sure that I knew this all along, I mean I\u2019m not completely blind. It\u2019s just that Niles, came across to me as this stereotypical scumbag, you know, dirty, grimy, doesn\u2019t care about anyone or anything. And this is the guy that I\u2019m hanging out with! Does that mean I\u2019m a scumbag too? You see, that\u2019s the trouble with people like me, when you assort with them, no matter how negative or disheartening it may be, you can\u2019t help but realize how much like them you really are. And believe me, I am.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I\u2019ve spent the entire day with this guy Niles; well to tell you the truth I\u2019m not exactly sure if that was actually his name. I know that I spent the majority of the day with him but I just never got around to the physical act of asking him his name, but its pretty […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,24,28,29],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-16","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-bathroom","category-score","category-story","category-trouble"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=16"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/16\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=16"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=16"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/patmorais.com\/themonkey\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=16"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}